I am the type of person that has a hard time accepting the love that others willingly give me. I was having a conversation with a dear friend about this topic yesterday, and remembered a story where I was so closed and not able to accept love.
My grandmother had just passed away and I needed to be flown home for the funeral. The ticket was over $500 and I could not afford to buy the ticket. Without knowing, my uncle purhcased the ticket for me because that was his way of showing his love for me, and for our family. When I found out about the gesture, I immediately broke down and cried all the tears I had. I had just lost my grandmother, and her oldest son took it upon himself, in his time of grieving, to help me. I remember saying that I didn't understand why he would do that and the feeling that I did not know how to thank him, or feel, or say or what to do completely washed over me. Not until the conversation I had yesterday did I realize that those feelings were my in ability to accept love.
Now I think that I have gotten better at accepting the love others show me, but I still catch myself having a hard time with this concept. My mother once told me, and boy is she a great mom to have, that God puts people in our lives for a reason. That reason might be to love us and that is the job God has given them. Our job is to be willing and able to accept that love, and see that love for what it is, a true gift...from God.
I found these 10 steps, and they might be slightly cheesy but I thought they would pertain to many people, and so I wanted to include them.
Keep on lovin, and lovin...it is a gift, but remember to take in all the love you receive in return, that is the greatest thank you, you can give back.
How to Accept Love
Step 1
Recognize your power. You could have every person in the world showering you with love every day, but if you do not recognize it, accept it and absorb it into your being, that love might as well not exist.
Step 2
Be brave. It is scary to accept love. Why? I’m not sure. Maybe because new love always resurrects heartbreaks and disappointments of the past. Maybe because love makes us feel out of control. When we are offered love, we feel guilty, unworthy, scared. Accepting love fully is no small feat, so prepare yourself and vow to be brave.
Step 3
Soften yourself. Literally. You cannot accept love if you are holding your body tightly. Let your muscles relax and your heart--which is a muscle too, remember--will be ready to accept love that comes your way.
Step 4
Recognize it. Love is given in many forms: words, actions, touch. How do the people in your life show love to you?
Step 5
Believe. If they say that they love you, they do. If they act as though they love you, they do. Always assume that your loved ones do love you that much and even more. Don’t go looking for reasons to “prove” that you are unlovable.
Step 6
Absorb it. When love is given to you, you don’t need to respond or reciprocate immediately. Instead take time to let the love soak in before taking action. If you move too quickly, the impact of the loving act will likely be dampened. If you feel the need to respond, a simple “thank you” is perfect.
Step 7
Don’t self-deprecate. Self-deprecating has its place for sure, but not when somebody is offering genuine love. When given a compliment, don’t dismiss it with statements like, “No. That’s not true. I’m actually really stupid/ugly/boring.”
Step 8
Keep the past in the past. Just because you have been hurt, rejected and let down by love in the past--and we all have--doesn’t make you unlovable. Approach each new loving encounter as if it is your first.
Step 9
Be open to love in all its forms. Love doesn’t always mean that you will be together forever until death. Sometimes it can be as simple as a smile from a stranger as you pass on the street. How much love can you see in your life today?
Step 10
Last, but definitely not least, remember that by accepting the love that is given to you, you are not only doing something good for yourself, but you are giving a gift to the person who offered the love to you. The only thing better than getting love from somebody, is watching somebody receive and delight in the love you give back.